Apparently Thailand is called the "Land of Smiles" for more reasons than we ever imagined, for it was on the beautiful beaches of Krabi that our baby girl was conceived. It is an absolutely amazing feeling to have a life grow within my womb. I was terrified when I first found out though. How many nights of sleep did I lose fretting over whether we were ready to be parents and how my own parents would react! I recall being incredibly anxious about being judged by my American colleagues, so focused as they were/are on refugees that none of them have babies of their own except our middle-aged, expat managers...but then the day of my first ultrasound arrived. My stomach was as flat as an ironing board then and other than sore breasts and initial nausea in the first two months, I wasn't "feeling pregnant" in the slightest. But then the doctor placed the ultrasound wand on my abdomen and there before us was a tiny fetus, calm and waiting to make its debut. I couldn't relate to the idea of "maternal instinct" before our baby appeared on the screen that day, but the moment it did appear, moving ever so slightly, my eyes filled with tears (more like rivers) of relief. We really did have a baby in there!! And THANK GOD, it was healthy with all parts included. <3
Skipping ahead several weeks. My colleagues all seem happy for me and my parents sometime seem more on-board with the baby idea than we do. Indeed, they've already set their hearts on Isabella or Charlie as the baby's first name! 14 August 2013. That was the day of our baby's "Abnormality Scan," an ultrasound which looks at the developing baby from head to toe to determine whether any abnormalities have arisen. It was also the day we'd finally get to find out our baby's sex. I'd been secretly praying for a baby girl, all the while mentally preparing for the likelihood of a baby boy. I'd be happy with a baby boy, I had convinced myself, but, OH, to have a baby girl...My maid of honor-to-be joined us for the scan, adding to the excited anticipation of the moment. The doctor took his time to explain each part of the baby's developing body. It had grown amazingly fast since our previous visit with chubby legs, a distinct Luo nose and pillow lips. It stayed relatively calm as the doctor asked if we'd like to find out the baby's sex. There was then a moment of silence where the seconds slowed, as we all sat motionless with bated breath as the doctor swiveled the ultrasound wand around on my abdomen to get a better view. The doctor focused in on a line between the baby's legs, which I assumed was the baby's butt and left me feeling slightly annoyed that the doc wouldn't move the wand forward somehow so we could FINALLY FIND OUT ALREADY!!! "You see that line there," he said in his slowww, monotone voice, "that there are the baby's female genitalia." I admit, I shouted out with the rush of joy that flowed through me like a giant ocean wave of relief! A baby girl!! A baby GIRL!!!! It was the happiest moment of our year so far and boy, did the joyous tears flow!! And apparently, Baby Girl sensed her mother's joy because she reacted to her news by dancing there before us on the screen, as if to say, "hooray, you finally know who I am!!!!"
Every moment that I'm left alone with my thoughts, at the office, in the evenings, as I fall asleep at night, I can feel her moving inside of me. I've finally embraced the idea of becoming a mother and am more at peace because of it. How I look forward to December (or will it be January??) when Mom, B and I finally, FINALLY get to hold her in our arms.
Skipping ahead several weeks. My colleagues all seem happy for me and my parents sometime seem more on-board with the baby idea than we do. Indeed, they've already set their hearts on Isabella or Charlie as the baby's first name! 14 August 2013. That was the day of our baby's "Abnormality Scan," an ultrasound which looks at the developing baby from head to toe to determine whether any abnormalities have arisen. It was also the day we'd finally get to find out our baby's sex. I'd been secretly praying for a baby girl, all the while mentally preparing for the likelihood of a baby boy. I'd be happy with a baby boy, I had convinced myself, but, OH, to have a baby girl...My maid of honor-to-be joined us for the scan, adding to the excited anticipation of the moment. The doctor took his time to explain each part of the baby's developing body. It had grown amazingly fast since our previous visit with chubby legs, a distinct Luo nose and pillow lips. It stayed relatively calm as the doctor asked if we'd like to find out the baby's sex. There was then a moment of silence where the seconds slowed, as we all sat motionless with bated breath as the doctor swiveled the ultrasound wand around on my abdomen to get a better view. The doctor focused in on a line between the baby's legs, which I assumed was the baby's butt and left me feeling slightly annoyed that the doc wouldn't move the wand forward somehow so we could FINALLY FIND OUT ALREADY!!! "You see that line there," he said in his slowww, monotone voice, "that there are the baby's female genitalia." I admit, I shouted out with the rush of joy that flowed through me like a giant ocean wave of relief! A baby girl!! A baby GIRL!!!! It was the happiest moment of our year so far and boy, did the joyous tears flow!! And apparently, Baby Girl sensed her mother's joy because she reacted to her news by dancing there before us on the screen, as if to say, "hooray, you finally know who I am!!!!"
Every moment that I'm left alone with my thoughts, at the office, in the evenings, as I fall asleep at night, I can feel her moving inside of me. I've finally embraced the idea of becoming a mother and am more at peace because of it. How I look forward to December (or will it be January??) when Mom, B and I finally, FINALLY get to hold her in our arms.
