Maternal Instinct Overdrive

I think I must be hitting that age where a woman’s maternal instincts go into overdrive. Seeing a baby or small child smile fills with such an intense feeling of joy; a baby crying no longer annoys me, but rather makes me want to run to the child, hold her close and dry her tears. My direct supervisor is something like 5 months pregnant. Though my colleagues and I are in the middle of an intense training week, I find my mind drifting at times to thoughts of “what would it be like…?”  One of my best friends from college, who just so happens to be married to a Kenyan, is also around 4/5 months pregnant. When she told me the news, I was honestly filled with not only joy and happiness for her, but also envy. I want to be at that stage in life where I too can have a child. The influence and advice of mother remain deeply ingrained in my head though. Before I feel that I am "ready" to have a child, I have to be married, I have to be financially secure and I have to be confident that the potential father of the baby is going to be the ideal father I have pictured in this head of mine. The latter I can say I am fairly confident I have already been blessed with, but the former two...well, my ring finger remains naked and my job pays peanuts.