Family reunion excitement

In two weeks time, my American mother, brother, Japanese mom and Japanese dad will be in Kenya. I am beyond excited. I am from a very close-knit family of four and also remain close to the Japanese family I lived with on numerous occassions between the age of 15 and 27. My mother has been to Kenya once before, whereas my brother and host parents have never been to Africa, let alone Kenya. My host mother is particularly excited about the trip. When I asked her months ago what was on her Bucket List, she confessed that she has always wanted to visit Africa and see the Great Migration (one of the world's so-called 7 wonders). Needless to say, I am thrilled to be able to facilitate the realization of that dream...

My brother and host parents will be in Kenya for a week, while Mom will be in town for two. We'll be going on on a 3-day safari in the famous Masai Mara national park staying in one of those fancy tented camps. I am going to also try to fit in a visit to the Bomas of Kenya, the Kazuri Bead Factory, the Animal Orphanage in Karen, Luo dancing at Ronalo's, custom made dresses for my host mom, American mother and I, a visit to either Aromatics Spa or Wild Earth, as well as Open Hand's Orphanage. Got more ideas for me? Send 'em my way! This reunion needs to be the best ever! :) 

Internet frenzy in Addis Ababa

Am on a work trip in Ethiopia at one of my favorite hotels - The Jupiter - going absolutely NUTS with pleasure because of my soft bed with fluffy pillows and because of the unlimited, high-speed INTERNET!

Let me explain why this brings me so much blissful happiness :p 

INTERNETTTTT

In my home country, high-speed internet is a given. Everybody has access to it, be it at home, at the local Starbucks, at school, etc. In Africa we consider it more of a luxury, especially UNLIMITED internet. In the States, access to high-speed unlimited wireless demands only the purchase of a coffee or a visit to the school library. At our homes, we pay one of the countless internet companies a monthy fee of about $39 bucks for unlimited, FAST internet (or maybe it's a lot cheaper these days...It's been a while since I've lived outside of Asia or Africa...<blush>). Here in Africa, we pay by the bundle. I didn't know what that meant when I first moved here, so let me explain to those readers in a similar boat. Here, the more you surf and download, the more you pay. Internet, like talk time is generally PRE-PAID as opposed to POST-PAID. This is nice because you only end up spending what you've actually budgeted for, but it also means that once you've used your allotment, you have to either accept that you're cut off from the world, OR you have to muster up the energy to visit the local store or street kiosk to purchase more internet/talk time. So downloading, unless it's really necessary, is avoided. We don't video chat unless we're at an internet cafe because video chatting (as opposed to voice chatting) eats up more of your bundle meaning you use more money. This kind of LIMITED internet life-style explains why every time  I return to the States, I spend countless, sleepless nights grinning insanely at Mom's computer screen as I download for hours just because I CAN and video chat with everybody under the sun. And then there's TED videos and YouTube videos...I turn into a complete computer geek when I go home and it's hard to even convince myself to leave the house. Dad gets so annoyed with me for never leaving the computer desk, but if somebody's denied internet freedom for months on end, it's understandable for her to go a little overboard (and, OK, I admit, a little nutso) when provided access to it again,... right? :p

Life lesson: A friendly face need not be trusted

Today I was asked to be a witness at a Nubian/Muslim wedding. It was a beautiful experience watching two dear friends vow to dedicate their lives to each other. After the ceremony, we headed to their home to enjoy a Nubian feast where we got to meet the bride and groom’s extended family. As I sat with the bride, a mutual friend came in, greeted us and sat next to me. As we began to chat, I glanced over at her earrings and realized they were the pearl earrings my father gave me for my 30^th birthday last year in Italy. I suddenly had a flashback of the friend’s attendance at a get-together held at my house a year prior. Not wanting to make a scene since the bride was sitting on my other side; I asked her quietly where she got her earrings. She smiled and replied, “They’re yours.” “No shit, Sherlock,” I thought, but replied with guarded annoyance, “those were a gift to me by father, you need to give those back to me.” She laughed and assented, but made no effort to actually do so. “How about you give them to me now, dear, otherwise we might forget.” She handed them to my nonchalantly.  This is a girl who has seemingly been so sweet to me for the past 2 years or so I’ve known her, only to steal from me without any apparent guilt! I was shocked, but again, I didn’t want to ruin my other friend’s wedding day. I looked down in awkward silence and saw that she was also wearing my tank top, gold bracelet given to me by mother and a ring given to me by my best friend in the States! I felt like screaming! “What give, girl, practically everything you have on is mine!” She laughed again as if it were a joke, to which I could only look at her flabbergasted for several awkward moments before taking off the bracelet and ring myself. Nooo, I didn’t take off the tank top too! Perhaps I should have though? To leave her naked and shamed? Nah that would have been too harsh. Something in her head must have clicked at that moment b/c she decided to make a half-hearted apology. “Sorry, Amity. I won’t do it again.” “Bullshit,” I thought bitterly, but me being me, replied “<name>, you really shouldn’t steal from people. Now I can’t trust you anymore.” I would have gone on, but my eyes started welling up so I cut the lecture short and looked away, proceeding to ignore her for the remaining time I was obliged to sit next to her.  

How do people think that stealing is OK, especially from people they are so outwardly friendly to? I don't get such superficial people. If I did something like steal ONCE, let alone repeatedly, I'd be sleepless with guilt and shame.   

Dadaab

Interesting article by MSF' http://www.swiftpage6.com/CampResource/2Y10R56DI4MDKDR8/1/text.pdf

I led the last resettlement mission to Dadaab in October 2011 before a series of bombings and kidnappings jeopardized our safety to the extent that my organization and many others discontinued or greatly limited services in and/or visits to the area. Our organization is responsible for all refugee in sub-Saharan Africa applying for resettlement to the United States. For those in Dadaab however, their cases are on hold till the unforeseeable future because we are no longer able to process their applications. Resettlement is hardly a solve-all solution to the plights of refugees. Indeed, the longer I work in resettlement, the more I realize the more powerful and long-term impact of skills building in a refugees local society as opposed to uprooting them to a foreign location. However, resettlement does offer the undeniable and invaluable sense of hope, especially to refugee children who, because of their youth and the sponge-like nature of their minds, have so much to gain from quality education, healthcare, safety and peace. I only wish I knew more about conflict resolution to be better able to access the situation in Somalia (and indeed that which continues to spill over into Northern Kenya). How long will it be, I wonder till "hope" again returns to the uprooted people of Dadaab? Or will they forever be considered by the international community as a "lost cause?"       

The sometimes inadvertent power of friendship

Why is it that we tend to be the hardest, and sometimes the cruelest, to the people we are closest to? I tend to think (or at least this is my excuse) that it is because we wish the best for them and therefore are willing to take the risk of upsetting them in the hopes that in the end it will be for the best. The problem arguably lies however with the fact that as we grow closer to a person, be they family, boyfriend or friend, we increasingly get to know exactly what to do in order to make that person incredibly happy, as well as incredibly miserable. I have found that there is a delicate balance one must take with those we love. As a person closest to them, we have a responsibility to be honest with them and yes, sometimes this honesty hurts. However we also have the obligation to practice caution with the power we inherit over that person’s emotions as s/he grows increasingly comfortable with you. I believe that it is important, for instance, to alert a friend or family member if they are doing something that might be detrimental to their health, future, happiness and so on. As I was reminded recently however, we have to be careful not to push too hard or too hard for too long because honesty or “hard love,” as some call it can too often have the adverse affect of heartache, frustration, or worse yet, depression. In otherwords, albeit with good intentions, in your blurting out of the honest truth, your words may have the inadvertant affect of discouraging your loved one to take the steps forward you so earnestly aspire to encourage them to take.  

Birthday blues...

I know, it sounds juvenile, but birthdays have always been a big deal for me. With the exception of last year (which as truly an amazing birthday) I generally find myself feeling surprisingly lonely when May roles around. I won't go so far as to say that I get depressed, but I defintely tend to feel lonely and have to make a real concerted effort to *try* to cheer myself up. May...and December (Xmas) ...are typically the months that I feel the most separated from my family and close friends. This year has turned out to be no different. I am on a work trip in a small town in rural Uganda with teammates that I unfortunately haven't really gotten a chance to know that well. Tomorrow is my birthday and I can tell you right now it's going to be a rough day...there's an African-style birthday party going on outside of our hotel right now and I can't help but wish I had people in my life who would make such a big deal out my birthday. Happy birthday, stranger...you are one lucky lady. Ooof...really need to shake these blues...

The question of Amnesty

Amnesty: an act of forgiveness for past offences, especially to a class of persons as a whole; a forgetting or overlooking of any past offence.

Amnesty. This is a concept  that I have been struggling with lately, particularly with regards to its potential effectiveness in helping a war torn people/country heal from past atrocities and human rights violations. Currently I am in Uganda, a country that continues to struggle with how to balance bringing LRA perpetrators to justice and how to heal from the violence and trauma the rebel group inflicted. A recent on-line article put the dilemma Uganda faces well, stating: 

"The arrest of a senior Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) commander has reignited debate in Uganda about what to do with alleged war criminals: let them go, to encourage other rebels to surrender; or prosecute them in the name of accountability and justice."

Caesar Acellam Otto

The senior commander the article refers to is a man by the name of Caesar Acellam Otto. As one of Joseph Kony's top commanders, Caesar is directly responsible for the torture, murder and forced recruitment of countless individuals (both children and adults) from northern Uganda. And yet, when questioned during an interview (see New Vision newspaper) following his arrest about crimes against humanity that the LRA committed, he "threw his hands in the air and stated, 'the Ugandan Government passed a Bill in Parliament of blanket amnesty. So all rebels who left the bush before me were granted amnesty. Why not me? Why should I fear?" When Caesar was asked whether he felt remorse for his involvement in the before mentioned human rights offences, he stated, "in the military, there is no word like excuse. Therefore, I cannot apologise."

The UN Secretary-General for Children and Armed Conflict states Caesar and other LRA commanders are "responsible for the most egregious violations committed against children in the central African region." And yet from what I have been reading so far in the UG newspapers and on-line, it seems that even for big-time perpetrators of past violence like Caesar, there is a strong push for amnesty. In other words, Caesar and others would end up getting away with their crimes completely unpunished. I am left wondering how I would feel about such criminals being let go in my community after they've instigated the murder of so many of my compatriots? Would I be able to "forgive and forget" in an effort to recover from the past and obtain peace? I'm honestly not so sure...