Lesson of the day - Matatus hurt.

Today started like any other. My alarm clock went off at 5:45. I did not get out of bed right away, but rather opted to stare at the ceiling for 45-minutes and mentally prepare for the day ahead. As much as my bed is welcoming when I dive into its covers at night, its comfort level has always skyrocketed by morning. It is therefore only logical that I fully appreciate my bed by only stepping out onto on the cold floor below at the last possible moment. Regardless, by 7:15, I have washed up, dressed, drank my tea, packed my bag and am out the door. 

My daily commute to the office takes 20 minutes. This involves a mere 3 minutes in a matatu and costs 10 shillings. Regardless, there are two hectic parts of my journey, the worse being attempting to cross Waiyaki Way (Westlands' main highway). In Kenya, stop lights, cross overs and cross walks are rare. Where they do exist, they are ignored. Pedestrians are therefore left to cross roads and highways at their own risk. To me, crossing a Kenyan road is like being in Frogger, level 50 (if there even is that high of a level). Cars, lorries, matatus, bicycles and buses fly by at top speed and it is up to you to figure out when is the safest time to cross. There must be something in the water in Nairobi, because when someone gets behind the wheel in Kenya, they drive as if they are on CRACK! One would think that if a pedestrian (vulnerable human being with no metal protection) is crossing in front of your MOVING vehicle, you would SLOW DOWN! Here in Nairobi the ding bats actually SPEED UP!???? What the ______?!! <Mummy and Daddy raised me proper, but pls insert your fav angry curse word here for your reading pleasure J>. I was told somewhat recently that Kenyan kids are taught never to run across the road as it "confuses the drivers." This strikes me as absurdly counter-intuitive though. Basic human survival instinct tells you that if a car is speeding towards you, you RUN like a bat out of hell! Who cares about confusing the driver! Pedestrians don't have airbags!

As mentioned above, I usually leave my house at 7:15 so that I have plenty of leeway to get to the office before SOB. This morning I left at 7:30 – woops (I blame the cold floor…), but managed to cross Waiyaki Way and board a matatu in good time. I was just about to reach my office when I spotted a matatu heading right in my direction. I tried to dodge the damn thing, but there was barbed wire preventing me from jumping a safe distance to the side. The matatu came literally a millimeter away from hitting me head on. A split second later, the matatu’s side mirror snagged my bag pack, dragging me down the street! The matatu stopped soon after, but not before I was covered in Africa’s red dirt, shaken, bumped and bruised. The matatu driver DID apologize, as did all the passengers inside the matatu. Regardless, I gave the driver a good talking to – “Are you crazy, asshole?! Why the HELL were you driving like that? You matatu drivers are completely mad! It’s not just about getting passengers to their destinations to get coins in your pocket you know?! You are responsible for getting them there SAFELY and minding the safety of the pedestrians and other vehicles out there! God, you could have killed me! What the helllllllllll!” By that point in my rant our KK Security Guards (they are awesome, by the way) were on the scene in large numbers, not to mention our office’s head of Security ("S") and the head of our HR Dpt ("G"). As "G" and "S" escorted me inside the office, I felt my entire body start shaking uncontrollably and tears welling up in my eyes. "G" and "S" showed genuine concern for my well-being and started shooting me with a bunch of questions as to my condition, what had happened, would I care for a cup of tea  etc. I felt like I was going to start crying hysterically at any moment though (not the sort of thing I want to do at the front gate of my 300 plus-staffed office), so I excused myself, promising to brief them in 5 minutes time. I headed straight to my boy's department, urged him to step out into the hallway at which point I let myself fall apart. I was in dire need of a close and trusted friend to listen and calm me down. He did exactly that despite the fact that I probably looked monstrous with all my mascara streaming down my cheeks (the guy has definitely seen me at my best and worse!)! I headed to the bathroom next, cried and sobbed some more, cleaned off my ruined make up, took several deep yoga breaths and headed out for the day ahead. Wooooooiii, what a way to start my week! ------------------------------------------

WHAT IS A MATATU....

Matatus are Kenya's main form of public transportation. They are public commuter vans that pack in at least 14 passengers at a time. They are the preferred mode of transportation because of their cheap fares, round-the-clock service, booming music and loud designs. At the same time, they are infamous for their reckless driving. Accidents involving matatus, including hit-and-runs are common occurences. Matatus are easy targets for pick pockets and car jackers. Matatu conductors often try to exploit their passengers in trying to get them to pay more than the normal fare (this is a common experience for mzungus and Indians alike).