A not so distant evening in the past saw some colleagues and I chatting over dinner at one of Khartoum’s many outdoor cafés. As friends so often do, each of us threw into the conversation relevant stories from our past and tidbits about countries we knew best. One friend tossed in stories about the Middle East, while another matched his with tales from the Swahili Coast. Not wanting to be sidelined, I tried throwing in Japan tidbits. Disinterest fell like silk across their their faces and my Japan contributions were frustrated with interruptions of a completely unrelated topic. Japan is one of my favorite conversation pieces and yet when I talk about the country here, in Africa, people look as if I’m talking about the driest thing ever. I realize that most people here haven't been infected with the East Asian bug, but honestly, it's difficult for me to dampen my passion for the country even after a year and a half of living on the opposite side of the world. I realize it sounds childish, but it hurts when people seem disinterested in what I have to say. And it is one of my biggest pet peeves when someone "mulitasks" when I'm sharing something with them. I'm not so conceited to think that everything I have to say is the most fascinating bit of knowledge you've gained all day, but at least show me the respect I think and hope I show you. When sharing my frustrations about this evening with someone close to me, it was pointed out that he, at least, doesn't think I am always as good at listening as I prefer to think I am. This saddens me, but at least it is something I can do something about! Try again and again, my dear, and you will see what a great confidant I can be.
Sad indeed, but, people are different. What I like the most might not necessarily be what you also like best. We just have to understand different characters, don't you think :)
ReplyDeleteof course, but i miss the Asian concept that when in a group of friends, effort should always be made to make every individual feel welcomed and part of the conversation. i don't see that as much here or in the states. many of my compatriots will talk just to hear their own voice and many a kenyan will gab on and on in swahili regardless of whether everyone in the group understands the language. i can understand why people are like that and of course i respect and appreciate a wide variety of personalities, but it's no less frustrating to be that odd one out, sindio, reddings? :)
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