So interesting!!!

One amazing woman...

A Widow’s Wisdom

SEATTLE – Every once in a while the unconvincing, bristly language of the culture wars gives way to a genuine plea from the heart. And it’s in these rare moments, when words are freed from their ideological captors, that the politics of these issues are shown to be so hollow.

We had one of these public cris de coeur here in the remarkable run-up to Washington’s legalizing same-sex marriage this week. A middle-aged, heterosexual legislator, Maureen Walsh, who is a conservative Republican from the small town of Walla Walla, rose to explain why she would be bucking her party on one of the most contentious social issues of the day.

“I was married for 23 years to the love of my life, and he died six years ago,” said Walsh. “I’m a lonely old widow right now. I’m 51 years old, looking for a boyfriend and not having much luck with that. And yet, when I think of my husband, I don’t miss the sex—”

There followed a few seconds of uncomfortable laughter in the marble chambers of Olympia. O.K, she acknowledged, the sex was fine. But more important was the love. “I think to myself: how could I deny anyone that incredible bond I had with another individual in life? It seems almost cruel.”

A few days after a video of Walsh’s speech went viral, making the mother from Walla Walla a hero to many people around the world, Rick Santorum brought his crusade against gays and birth control to this state.

Santorum spoke to a crowd inside an Olympia church, and then tussled with protesters at a public event in Tacoma. He is obsessed with other people’s sex lives and determined to repeal both a half-century of forward thinking on contraception and decades of progress on how people treat their gay and lesbian fellow citizens. But you could almost see his words disappear on a Puget Sound gust as he spoke.

You may not hear it from their presidential candidates, but the party of Lincoln is torn between its language of liberty and its prescriptions to deny that freedom to millions of Americans.

Santorum, though surging for the moment in Republican primary polls, is the past. He says mutually consenting adults do not have the constitutional right to privacy. Laws that criminalize sex between some citizens exist to prevent acts which “undermine the basic tenets of our society.” These tenets, he says, trump civil authority. “God gave us laws that we must abide by.”

So gays in the military, now risking life and limb for their country, would be run out of the service, as per an old policy he wants reinstated. And should he become president, he promises, anyone currently married to a member of the same sex would have that union invalidated by a constitutional amendment.

He couches his opposition to family planning and gay love as a brave stand against intolerance – the state “imposing” its values on people of faith. Of course, churches are exempt under the new law from having to perform same-sex marriages. No matter. Most of what Santorum says is bound for a time capsule, the one that holds arguments for failed philosophies of the past.

Representative Walsh, trembling, fighting back tears as she spoke, is the future. She said something at the end of her speech that critics might dismiss as self-interest, born of family ties. But once again she made irrefutable sense. Her daughter, she explained, is gay, and in love.

“Someday, by God, I want to throw a wedding for that kid,” said Walsh. “I hope that’s exactly what I can do. I hope she will not feel like a second-class citizen involved in something called a `domestic partnership.’ ”

This Valentine’s Day, a day devoted to the often indecipherable tugs of the heart, comes just after Gov. Christine Gregoire signed into law a measure making Washington the seventh state to allow gays to marry. The bill became law, as happened in New York State’s passage last year, because a handful of Republicans broke ranks with their party.

Gregoire, a Roman Catholic and a Democrat, herself broke with the teachings of her church. She said she could no longer, in good conscience, oppose letting certain people get married. She praised her daughters for bringing her around.

“It’s a day that historians will mark as a milestone for equal rights, when we did what was right, just and fair and did it together, Republicans and Democrats, gay and straight, young and old,” Gregoire said, at the bill signing on Monday.

In Santorum’s view, all of this is evidence of societal collapse, a nation unmoored from its moral anchor. The implication of his position is that gays should return to the closet, leading secretive lives, out in the cold, away from the embrace of their families. He threw his lot in with people in this state who have vowed to overturn same-sex marriage by referendum in November.

Don’t bank on it. The near future will be populated by those who share the beliefs of Gregoire’s daughters and by those who will come to see the wisdom of a lonely widow who thought hard about the meaning of love.

http://campaignstops.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/14/a-widows-wisdom/

Africa in perspective

A close friend was asking me how big Africa is in comparison to the United States. Anybody with a general sense of geography knows that Africa is several times larger, but I was curious to know by how much. I found the below map on the web...even larger than you thought, right? 

Washoku (Japanese food) and pipe dreams

Today I visited the Asian Food Market on 91 Colvin Street in Albany. I went in telling myself I would only buy quality green tea, a thick pack of seaweed and wasabi - three things I always find myself missing in Nairobi. But try being a Japan-ofile like me and walk into a well-stocked Asian grocery store with LITERALLY a whole 25-meter long aisle full of just Asian teas!! And then another, just-as-long aisle of Japanese food products. I was in my own, personalized heaven on earth. I went in thinking I'd spend 20 bucks max; I left having paid a bill totaling $115! No guilt felt here though. We can't be penny wise and dime foolish after all deshou? And for me at least, stocking up on my version of comfort food (Japanese food) is a key ingredient to my long-term happiness and health. :) So miso soup and kare-raisu nights in Nairobi - here I come!! :) 

I must also point out another one of my favorite cash gobblers, <cough cough>, I mean boutiques, is just a 20 minute drive from the above Market. The place is called Violets - the boutique has a wonderful selection of stunningly elegant, but youthful items that always make my eyes sparkle and my pocketbook itch. I am not sooo much into fashion, but I do enjoy looking nice (my Kenyan friends would swear that's the Luo in me talking) and Violets just so happens to have clothes that make my particular body type look nice. Too bad an outfit there is at least $100. I like to dream about dressing nice though so every time I'm home in New York, I stop by and leaf through the clothes, very pole pole-like, soaking in the beauty of each item. I miss nice clothing shops, even if I don't actually have the income to buy from them. Kenya doesn't have such shops. At least, none that I'm aware of. When I buy clothes there, it's out of desperation and then, much to my chagrin, the items start to fall apart and loose their shape and color after only a couple washings. Unless, of course, you're willing to spend $50 on a simple, not-all-that sweater from Woolsworth, clothing shopping in Nai is just not worth it.  

Swift winds of change

Gosh, I haven't updated this thing in ages. Sorry for that, folks. Not sure if anybody reads this anymore, but since I've a bit of time on my hands these days (and fast internet), I'll update regardless.

I won't go into the personal details, but the past month or so has been one of the most trying periods of my life. Work has served as a sort of detox, but my thoughts have very much been on more personal matters, family matters, relationship matters...on my most recent ride in Rwanda, I felt like I was there physically, but that my mind and spirit were far away, dashing back and forth between Nairobi and home. And then the unexpected happened. Life screeeeched to a halt and sped up all at the same time. Kigali, Nairobi, Dubai, NYC, Albany...and at long last, home - where I needed to be. 

Most of us are aware that Life is never static, it constantly changes, presents us with new challenges, opportunities and windows of hope. We are told time and time again that we better appreciate those around us, especially our loved ones, but how many of us are really as grateful as we should be? One of my closest friends once wrote me a very tear-filled letter after the death of her father. She advised me that I should never go to bed angry with the ones I love. "Always forgive and make up," she urged. I'd advise people to take that one step further, especially those who do not see their loved ones (especially family) often (like us expats living abroad). Don't put off that that phone call home. Don't tell yourself, I'll write my brother as soon as I get a chance, tomorrow or this weekend. Don't get angry with your significant other for petty things. Appreciate them, love them, write to them, call them TODAY...don't wait till tomorrow when you may not still have a chance.  

I am one of the lucky ones. I live literally on the other side of the world from my family, my country, the way of life I know best. I'm guilty of not staying in touch as often as I should and traveling elsewhere when I know my mom would rather I just come home. And yet, my family still loves me as if I were at their dining room table yesterday. When I come home, there is a spot for me in their lives that will never be filled by another - I am still my brother's best friend, my father's confidant and my mother's baby girl. This realization fills me with more overwhelming sadness and gratitude than I can explain.