Frustration

As much as I love Kenya, I must vent that it causes me constant frustration that so many people here can't keep their word. Excuses are always in abundance. Traffic seems to be the favorite. Rain is probably next in line. Apologies flow out as easy as the excuses, but I'm always left wondering if those apologies are truly genuine because the next time you're up to meet that very same person, they end up being late or falling short on their promise all over again. And this is all after  looking you in the eye and acting as if they're you best, most reliable friend ever. 

Teddy and Ben

Carrying on a family tradition...when I was born, I was given the teddy bear pictured on the right (Ben). It has stated with me for the past 32 years, often bringing me comfort in times of tears or frustration. Three weeks from now, I get to give my daughter a similar gift (Teddy); a welcome to the world present, if you will :) 

Anxiety kicks in

I've been wide awake since five, or perhaps even earlier. Today's my first day back at work after a week of vacation and another week of off and on sick leave. Am feeling anxious because I've so many questions pending answers from my insurance and obstetrician, not to mention what seems like a billion receipts/appointments pending reimbursement. On top of all that, I'm doubly anxious abt work to-dos since I'm not sure how long I'll be able to report to the office before going into labor and I realllly don't want to leave anything major unattended to. These next few weeks must be productive, or else...only 26 days and counting!! 

Pain free!

The sciatic nerve pain has completely disappeared - thank God! The solution? Dr. Stower - a chiropractor recommended by a friend and former colleague of mine who is also in her final trimester and experiencing pain from pinched nerves. Dr. Stower has apparently worked with countless pregnant women and is therefore very familiar with the special treatment our condition demands. I was pleased to note that her clinic boasts a special chiropractic bed that easily adjusts to fit a pregnant woman's shape. How odd (yet thrilling) it was to be able to lay on my stomach after eight months! She started out my hour plus appointment by asking me several questions about my pregnancy and the pain I had been feeling. She then helped me go through a series of stretches, chatting along the way to help me feel at ease. Stretching was followed by 20-30 minutes of electric stimulation with one patch placed on my lower back and another placed on my left hip. Electric stim was followed by a hot towel on my hip and lower back for 15 minutes and then the affixing of this Japanese tape that, it left on the skin for at least five days, lifts the skin away from the flesh beneath and thus relieves pain. 

The entire session with Dr. Stower was 3,500 Kenyan Shillings (~$40). I did end up removing the Japanese tape after a day because of my stubborn latex allergy, but am able to boast that less than two days later, I was completely pain free. My sweet baby did decide to lay her head on my other sciatic nerve for a  time there, but has been good enough to do only do so for a couple hours before settling back to the middle of my womb where she's best positioned for delivery. :) 

Pinched sciatic nerve

Up until just recently, I have had been blessed with such a smooth pregnancy. Now in my 34th week, however, our baby has decided to rest her precious head on my left sciatic nerve sending waves of piercing pain up my lower back and down my left leg. I spent yesterday evening in the emergency room and the whole of today limping around the house (took a sick off), if not completely unable to move. A safe pregnancy dictates that medication is largely avoided. Medication deemed safe is limited to the likes of Tylenol which have never had much of an impact on my system. My best friend and, indeed, my only source of pain relief is an ice pack which I constantly keep strapped to my hip. Thankfully, I am also blessed with a husband/fiance who takes such good care of me. How miserable would I be if I was stuck with one of those male chauvinists who refuse to do housework or cook!! B is a life-saver - no exaggeration there whatsoever! 

The final stretch...

Late next month we will have our daughter in our arms. I remain small for a woman as far along in her pregnancy as I am, but the doctors comfort us with test results that show a perfectly developing baby. We're told that she is now 1.865 kg and that her due date has moved up from the 28th to the 26th of December. Personally, I'm praying that she stays inside long enough for my mother, who arrives on the 28th,  to be with us for the delivery. What a comfort her presence would be...

I've had surprisingly few pregnancy symptoms. No cravings, no unnecessary weight gain,  no exhaustion or back pain. I have the occasional leg or foot cramp, feel the urge to pee constantly, can no longer fit into most of my pre-pregnancy clothes and am finding it more difficult to lean over without breathing difficulty, but other than that, I am one of those very lucky few who are experiencing a very smooth, hick-up free pregnancy. B is being extremely supportive. He helps me cook, clean, carry heavy loads and puts up with my mood swings. Somehow he has convinced me that even now that I am nearly the same weight as him, I am even more beautiful in his eyes than pre-pregnancy when I was running around with flat abs and able to run for miles. 

Baby girl

Apparently Thailand is called the "Land of Smiles" for more reasons than we ever imagined, for it was on the beautiful beaches of Krabi that our baby girl was conceived. It is an absolutely amazing feeling to have a life grow within my womb. I was terrified when I first found out though. How many nights of sleep did I lose fretting over whether we were ready to be parents and how my own parents would react! I recall being incredibly anxious about being judged by my American colleagues, so focused as they were/are on refugees that none of them have babies of their own except our middle-aged, expat managers...but then the day of my first ultrasound arrived. My stomach was as flat as an ironing board then and other than sore breasts and initial nausea in the first two months, I wasn't "feeling pregnant" in the slightest. But then the doctor placed the ultrasound wand on my abdomen and there before us was a tiny fetus, calm and waiting to make its debut. I couldn't relate to the idea of "maternal instinct" before our baby appeared on the screen that day, but the moment it did appear, moving ever so slightly, my eyes filled with tears (more like rivers) of relief. We really did have a baby in there!! And THANK GOD, it was healthy with all parts included. <3

Skipping ahead several weeks. My colleagues all seem happy for me and my parents sometime seem more on-board with the baby idea than we do. Indeed, they've already set their hearts on Isabella or Charlie as the baby's first name! 14 August 2013. That was the day of our baby's "Abnormality Scan," an ultrasound which looks at the developing baby from head to toe to determine whether any abnormalities have arisen. It was also the day we'd finally get to find out our baby's sex. I'd been secretly praying for a baby girl, all the while mentally preparing for the likelihood of a baby boy. I'd be happy with a baby boy, I had convinced myself, but, OH, to have a baby girl...My maid of honor-to-be joined us for the scan, adding to the excited anticipation of the moment. The doctor took his time to explain each part of the baby's developing body. It had grown amazingly fast since our previous visit with chubby legs, a distinct Luo nose and pillow lips. It stayed relatively calm as the doctor asked if we'd like to find out the baby's sex. There was then a moment of silence where the seconds slowed, as we all sat motionless with bated breath as the doctor swiveled the ultrasound wand around on my abdomen to get a better view. The doctor focused in on a line between the baby's legs, which I assumed was the baby's butt and left me feeling slightly annoyed that the doc wouldn't move the wand forward somehow so we could FINALLY FIND OUT ALREADY!!! "You see that line there," he said in his slowww, monotone voice, "that there are the baby's female genitalia." I admit, I shouted out with the rush of joy that flowed through me like a giant ocean wave of relief! A baby girl!! A baby GIRL!!!! It was the happiest moment of our year so far and boy, did the joyous tears flow!! And apparently, Baby Girl sensed her mother's joy because she reacted to her news by dancing there before us on the screen, as if to say, "hooray, you finally know who I am!!!!"

Every moment that I'm left alone with my thoughts, at the office, in the evenings, as I fall asleep at night, I can feel her moving inside of me. I've finally embraced the idea of becoming a mother and am more at peace because of it. How I look forward to December (or will it be January??) when Mom, B and I finally, FINALLY get to hold her in our arms.